Happy Birthday to Me
2023 Check-in | Reflections on Turning 35
My birthday was on July 1. I’m officially 35. I have always enjoyed birthdays. They fill me with the same energy and the same optimism as the start of a new year. There always seem to be so many new opportunities and possibilities on the horizon. I’ve certainly had some harder years, I’m looking at you 2016 (IYKYK), or years where I haven’t felt like I was checking off enough boxes on some arbitrary adult checklist. While my destination has not always been clear, each year I feel like I become a little more confident and sure of myself.
This year, more than most, feels like an important moment of transition, even if I am not entirely sure what I am transitioning to. I think the pandemic accelerated a self-reflection process for many of us. I found myself having questions such as:
Is this really as good as it gets?
Do I want to be doing this for the next 30 years until I retire?
Also, do I really have to wait THIRTY YEARS until I retire???
What is actually important to me?
What do I want to do rather than what I think I should do?
Who created this standard I seem to be judging myself by?
Painting has played a pretty big role in this self-reflection period I am in. I started painting right before the pandemic hit and really got into it throughout 2021 and 2022 (learn more in How it Started), but it was in late 2022, that I started paying attention to people who were turning creative activities into actual businesses. This included people I followed online who had fully faceted and robust businesses, but also friends and peers of mine who started with hobbies that are now full on side hustles (shoutout to Courtney of Contour Clay Designs).
Sketch of a carabiner.
A major catalyst for me was taking a free online workshop through the artist/ designer, Bonnie Christine, in December 2022. I honestly think I found out about her through a sponsored Instagram ad, but it was certainly one of those moments where the algorithm seems to know you better than you know yourself. The ad was for Christine’s free 5 Day Pattern Challenge and I decided to sign up.
Over the course of those five days I learned how to take drawings and doodles and turn them into a repeating pattern using Adobe Illustrator. I have a basic grasp of Photoshop, but I had never touched Illustrator. In about an hour a night for five days, I learned how to turn a sketch of a climbing carabiner into a repeating pattern that I then got printed as fabric.
Repeating pattern of carabiner design in blue and gold.
My mind was blown.
I knew that surface pattern design was a thing, but I never thought of it as something that I could actually do.
What is surface pattern design you ask? It’s basically any of the repeating patterns you find on most commercial goods. Look around your home, you often find patterns on your towels, bed sheets, tissue boxes, planners, journals, fabric, clothing, etc. Anything that has a design on it was designed by somebody.
The purpose of the free online course was to give you a taste of a larger course that Christine teaches starting each March called Immersion. At a going rate of about $2000, the course was not something I was ready to dive into in 2023, but I think my whole mentality shifted once I was holding the fabric that I designed in my hands. I was curious enough to want to learn more.
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Fabric samples printed from Spoonflower with repeating carabiner pattern.
Close up of fabric pattern.
Building my website, starting my blog, setting an intention to paint consistently all came from this idea of what if I could become a designer like Bonnie Christine. I wanted to take a year to really focus my attention on creating art and documenting my process and see if in a year this was still a direction I wanted to pursue. I am not an impulsive person or a risk taker. I wasn’t ready for Immersion after taking that mini course in terms of having the cash on hand to pay for it, the tech to complete the course, or even the mental breathing room to devote the kind of time and energy that course would require. The Immersion course is intense. It’s an eight week course complete with online trainings, homework, live calls, etc. Giving myself a year was a way for me to think about how badly I actually want it.
Half way through 2023, I think the answer is a resounding yes to diving in in 2024, but I still have another half of the year to get through and then a few months before actually having to bite the bullet and sign up. It’s hard to describe how excited I am about the possibilities, but the excitement is also paired with a pretty substantial dose of nerves. It’s a lot of money and a lot of time for something where I’m not entirely sure what the outcome will be.
My art practice and what I share on this blog and on social media are the most visible parts of my creative journey this year, but I am also devouring books, podcasts, blogs, webinars, workshops and all kinds of free resources. The information is often overwhelming, but it is also encouraging. I keep reminding myself that I am new and I am learning and that is exactly what I need to be doing this year.
I’m also saving money. This course will require a serious investment in money, money for a laptop, for the course itself, and for supplies. I am also saving time so that I can hopefully use some vacation time to focus on the course during its eight week duration.
Sometimes I feel like it’s an insane idea, but it also feels like an important thing I need to do because the what ifs are just repeating themselves over and over in my head. Some days I am so excited that it is all I think about and all I want to focus on.
I might not turn into a designer and I’m honestly not sure what the ultimate outcome will be, but I can only focus on the steps that are in front of me, which are trying to paint, trying to write, and saving my pennies.
So far in 2023 I have:
Launched my website JGagnonDesigns.com.
Published 15 blogs.
Sent 7 newsletters.
Posted 5 days a week consistently on Instagram.
Started a Pinterest account with close to 1000 views a month.
In July 2022, I never would have thought these were possibilities. I even find it amazing in July 2023. I cannot imagine what July 2024 will look like. So far turning 35 is looking pretty exciting.